Come Home to Familyman Delusion
by AndroidEvian
Summary: First fanfic in years... Rick spending some time alone and Morty joining him, turns more personal than Rick is comfortable with. May create a sequel if i get positive feedback for this. Alcohol references, depressive content, heartbreaking empathy. Image credit to Shrineheart on deviantart.


I think it's pretty weird how even if you know something up and down, in and out, it can still amaze you. I know the moon is just a round, reflective, amalgamation of dust and ice, projecting light absorbed from the sun, the first true prism before people were smart enough to start experimenting with the spectrum of light through three dimensional glass rectangles. But the moon is different tonight... it's gold. I've seen this kind of moon from a handful of other planets, not all of them even remotely as hospitable as Earth... regardless of that, i find my psyche always responds to these sort of moments with a profound sense of calm, and fulfillment, no matter what my situation is.

"Rick? It's late... what are you doing out here?" You see what i mean? Even that little shithead's incessant stuttering has stopped.

"I could ask you the same question." I replied, taking a swig from my flask while Morty sat down next to me on the roof. "Well i saw you out here, so i got curious i guess... and i dunno, i guess you could say i was having a little nostalgia for the whole "moonspiracy" thing where i saw that guy just staring at me through the telescope... hehe." I slapped my palm to my head.

"Aw shit, you're right, i forgot i had that thing with me." I pulled out the telescope i'd finished perfecting a few months ago. "Aw geez, you gonna let me look through it?" His eyes had that little spark of hope they have when we go on an adventure. "Sure Morty, but *urrp!* after i'm done looking through it." He crossed his arms. "Yes, god, just scoot over a little, fag, i don't want you so close it adds to the touching moment of sharing a telescope with two eyepieces like lovers using a pair of double earbuds."

"R-right!" He nodded and sat about 6 inches away, peering intently into the lense and replacing the current with a more magnified one every minute or so when he'd finished finding whatever abstract shape he perceived in each crater and shadow on the surface. I took an additional swig from my flask, this time clearing it of the strong liquor and going limp on the roof, the telescope's robotic arm adjusting its position to mine. The magnification of the lense was so heavy i could see every tiny portion of precious minerals on the moon's surface.

"Hey Rick..." I could hear the anxiety in Morty's voice as the waves of drunkeness from absinthe washed over me.

"What's your fear, queer?" I snorted, hoping to lessen some of the tension. He looked down and gripped his right arm in his left.

"I was just thinking... I know with everything that's happened, like Mom getting back together with Dad, and me kind of instigating almost erasing you from our lives, you're probably pretty reluctant to stay here..." I rolled my eyes, unable to take this sort of talk.

"Aw geez, what gave it away? The fact my garage is covered in empty liquor bottles? The awkward breakfasts with me becoming the ass of all your jokes when i used to be the family comedian? I'm in a cage here, Morty."

"Would you let me finish!? I was gonna say... even if we never went on another adventure again i think your company is worth it if you ever become the Dad my Mom needed you to be! We're a family... i know you wanna puke when you hear that, and maybe you will cause i've seen how shitfaced you've been getting lately, but everything we said on Tiny Planet was real!" ...It's talks like this that makes me want to go back in time to when Abradolf Linkler and Summer's stupid friend and Morty were gathering Kalaxian crystals.

"Morty... i've learned everything. I've learned everything except how to be a family man because i'm a bored, self loathing God."

"You know when we threw that party with um... with Abradolf Linkler?" _Oh son of a..._ "When you were passed out, Birdperson told me about your catchphrase." I put up my hands, trying to placate this whole thing before it escalated.

"L-l-let's not skip to conclu*rrp!*sions based on one experience with Birdperson culture, let's just-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP! I know what it means, Rick! It means "please hel-" I cut him off mid speech with a neural synapses disruptor, and caught him as he lost consciousness, sliding off the roof with him in my arms, and the telescope compacted into my pocket once more. I dragged him into the Mindblower's chamber, playing a slideshow of his memories from the night of the party from the helmet's memory reader. Memory is stored more in the synapses than in any physical part of the brain. It's closer to electricity running through telephone lines, meaning if you cut the source, you stop the flow of memories.

Being partial to the "wires" the synapses manifested in, and damaging them, erases all the memories you ever collected, and you'd never get them back unless you made copy of the data from the synapses, that you can reinstall into the brain, like a flash drive being installed in the brain and syncing all the files to the hard drive. This process is more digital than biological, but human memory is exactly what inspired the system of storing "downloadable" non physical information. I scrolled through the frames of Morty's recollection of the party until i found him talking with Birdperson. I was passed out on the couch, hungover.

 _ **"...In Bird culture, this is considered 'a dick move."**_

 _ **"Well all of Rick's moves are dick moves."**_

 _ **"Morty, do you know what Rick is saying when he uses his catch phrase?"**_

 _ **"...He has alot of weird catchphrases, it's just gibberish."**_

 _ **"It is not gibberish. On my planet, we have a saying, 'Wubba lubba dub dub.' We use it to mean "Please help me, i am in great pain."**_

 _ **"Rick's just... i don't know, he just has substance abuse issue and he's a huge asshole, he's not that complicated a guy."**_ _Yeah. I knew you would decide on that in the end, Morty_. I deleted this small portion of memories between him and Birdperson, but i couldn't help myself from scrolling through some of the... happier memories between us. The time we froze time for about 8 months was pretty relieving to look back at. I found myself laughing at the part where i was sitting with Summer and Morty in front of the house.

 _**"Well, i think i have a new catchphrase now."**_

 ** _"What is it?"_**

 ** _"I love my grandkids. SYKE!"_** I laughed so hard i found tears gathering in my eyes as i found another bottle in the corner of the chamber to drown myself in. Eventually, my laughter escalated to a point where i couldn't tell if i was amused or in desperation. ...It's like that a lot when you spend all your time steeped in booze and constantly warping your hyperthalamus into poorer and poorer states. I removed the helmet from Morty and dragged him upstairs to bed, sitting in a chair with those stupid tears still fresh on my cheeks as i caught a glimpse of the sky outside. It was changing colour in the early morning, the sun beginning to near the horizon but none of its rays were visible yet. The stars still glittered on the deep blue of the night sky, fading into a gradient of deep purple, mahogany, and a small portion of scarlet. I sat in a chair to the right of Morty's bed, somehow at peace enough to shut my eyes after 4 days of insomnia.


End file.
